The old Landscaper and the Village Idiots continue their conversation, begun on Page 1. Our landscaping tips treasure-trove supplies the Village Idiots with sorely needed landscaping tips, to help them get their landscaping off to a good start this spring. The conversation has now turned to mulching:
-
Village Idiots:
- We were smart last year. We spread a thick layer of mulch over all our perennial flower beds and bulb plantings, and now we won't have to pull weeds or spread mulch this year at all. The mulch is already in place, and the perennials and bulb plants will just push up through it.
-
Landscaper:
- You lazy Village Idiots! You should already have removed mulch from snowdrops and crocuses so the shoots aren't smothered beneath the mulch layer. Loosen the mulch around daffodils and tulips, but keep enough around the shoots to help protect them against cold, drying winds. Mulch should be removed from perennial beds only gradually, as the season progresses. Keep taking a peek under the mulch to stay abreast of what's happening. When the shoots start coming up, don't allow them to be smothered by the mulch.
-
Village Idiots:
- But at least we're cautious about mulching in our annual beds. We buy our annual plants around Memorial Day, then spread mulch all around them. Surely you can't fault us on that score?
-
Landscaper:
- Surely I can, you Village Idiots. By leaving your annual garden beds unattended until the end of May, you're practically inviting the weeds to come in and set up housekeeping! Mulch annual beds early; then simply brush the mulch aside while planting your annuals, replacing the mulch immediately after. That way, weeds never stand a chance to….
But before he could finish answering, a neighborhood cur trotted by. The old man yelled at the dog, chasing it off his property. At this turn of events, a murmur swept through the group of Village Idiots, and the expressions on their faces changed. The old man was curious as to what they were whispering about and drew closer to them. Still unable to discern the topic of their conversation, he assumed that they were being critical of him for chasing the dog away.
"You Village Idiots," he thundered, "when mowing season returns, I don't want to have to go out there with a pooper-scooper first, before I can begin mowing. Let that dog deliver his 'little presents' elsewhere!"
But one of the Village Idiots stepped forth at this point and calmed old Landscaper down, explaining, "Yes, we're aware of the problem. You see, all of us had already begun sprinkling ammonia along the perimeters of our lawns a week ago! The smell of ammonia is most unpleasant to passing dogs, and they tend to leave our lawns alone."
Hearing this, old Landscaper scratched his head with the tips of his fingers, looking down at the ground. Then he raised his eyes, a bemused look brightening his harsh features. "Well, I'll be..." he groaned, nodding his head in approval. "You can teach an old dog new tricks -- or at least some landscaping tips. And there's hope yet for you, you Village Idiots."
