From the article: Top Funny Comeback Lines for the Landscaping Lazy Bones
Do you have any humorous observations to share about plants or landscaping? E.g., have you ever countered (or wanted to counter) charges of bad landscaping with a joke? Or perhaps you know someone else who delivered an especially witty line when accused of bad landscaping? Either way, please share the joke with us. Landscaping isn't usually a funny topic, but (allegedly) bad landscaping and one's response to it can be quite humorous. I hope my question brings out the inner comedian in you! If you don't have a "joke" to tell, per se, a funny story having to do with plants, the yard, or yard work will do just fine. Share Your Jokes
Landscaping Humor: Bad Worm Explosion?
- When my son was just four years old, he would like to help me knock the tomato horn worms off my plants and he would proceed to throw a large rock on them to kill them. One day when he was doing this, all of a sudden, something squirted up from under the rock and sprayed all over our clothes. We both screamed thinking he had squished a particularly large hornworm and it had gotten all over us. Much to our relief, we realized that it was a stray tomatoe because we saw little seeds and red stain on our clothes. We started laughing hysterically. Now, fifteen years later, I still think of that everytime I go out to pick my tomatoes.
- —Guest Gail D
Bad Landscaping: Embarassing Fake Roses
- A church I work for (name to be withheld) is very cautious on making sure the flowers are watered and looking fresh. Even volunteers come to help keep the altar looking spiffy. One day while I was helping the volunteers I noticed an artificial rose bouquet setting in a beautiful nice vase. It had delicate dew drops setting on each petal. Well I found out it looked so real that some of our staff and volunteers were watering the plant regularly for years. They never realized it was artificial until i bent over to smell them and touched the petals. Some laughed, some were embarrassed and some never came to help again.
- —Guest larry
Bad Landscaping: Gluing, Taping Plants
- Well, my husband knows how much I love and take care of my plants. I'm always telling him to be careful when mowing the lawn. So one day he came in from mowing, and he had a guilty look on his face, but he didn't say anything. So I went outside, starting looking at my plants, and asked, "What did you do?" Nothing, he says. So I see that one of my Iris plants is slanted, got closer to it, and noticed that he had super-glued it. But that didn't work, so he had put some scotch tape on it. I was upset, but I had to laugh. He thought that he had gotten away with his bad landscaping!
- —Guest GLORIA
When they complain remember this...
- "Don't worry we're trained professionals: it's supposed to look like that" or "Trust me, it looks great from my house." Things I heard said at the company I worked for. Usually after the ground was deemed too hard to plant, so the guys cut the roots off the plants and stuck them in the ground.
- —Guest PirateRalph
Weed Strewn Yard a "Prairie Reserve"
- A yard spraying company was in my neighborhood and the guy knocked on my door and asked if I would like him to spray the weeds in my front yard. I politely informed him that my yard was an official state prairie preserve and if any of the native grasses or wildflowers were harmed the state could impose a fine. He looked completely confused by my response and apologized and excused himself. As he was leaving I requested that he be careful not to allow any over-spray onto the prairie preserve if he didn't want to risk a state fine.
- —Guest fldreamer
Ugly Gardens: The Joke's on Them
- My father could never understand those who did not appreciate his "Dirt Garden."
- —Guest Sweet Olive
Funny Story to Tell About Landscaping
- We have a gorgeous garden in the spring season every year. But there was an amaltaa tree which would shed all its leaves just a few days before spring. Every time my brother would sit in the garden and complain and moan and groan about this tree -- that he would have it chopped off before the next spring season as it was an eyesore in the middle of such a beautiful garden. Well, surprisingly, it has been three years, but the tree hasn't shed its leaves like it used to. It holds on to some leaves all the time. I think it is holding on for dear life, knowing that if it sheds all its leaves, it may be chopped (ha ha). I would like to send some pics also. [Editor's note: The Amaltaa tree (Cassia fistula), or "golden shower tree" in this humorous story is native to southern Asia (India, Pakistan, Thailand). Pictures can be posted here: http://landscaping.about.com/u/sty/readersshare/4_seasons_year/form.htm (copy-paste that URL into your browser address box and hit Enter).]
- —Guest afshan
Exploding Wisteria Pods
- Waiting for the wisteria to open up here in Lincoln, Massachusetts. I'm bored, so I videotaped the pods exploding this winter http://www.youtube.com/williammorley#p/a/u/1/BYMOstfJRYI ("peace-out" as the kids say nowadays).
- —Guest william morley
Badscapes
- We started a whole blog on the topic of bad landscaping, as a joke. As two professional landscape designers, we find humor in the less than perfect attempts to create a memorable moment in the outdoors. If anyone wants to share photos with us, come on over to www.badscapes.com.
- —Guest Angry Landscaper
"Variegated" Leaves
- I once had some plants in my yard that must have caught some sort of disease or been accidentally hit with herbicide, because their otherwise green leaves were marred with light colored streaks. My nosy neighbors inquired about it, and I decided to cover up this instance of "bad landscaping." I told them the plants were "variegated" and were actually "all the rage now." I don't know if they bought it, but it did shut them up!
- —Guest Loki
