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Readers Respond: Do You Have Landscaping Issues With Your Spouse?

Responses: 10


From the article: How to Kill Grass

Some couples may see eye to eye with each other on all matters related to the landscaping. But I'm sure a far greater number disagree with each other and/or annoy each other in at least some minor way regarding how the yard should look or be maintained.

The disagreement, in some cases, will be over something as small as how often to mow the lawn. In other cases, couples may have opposing views on an issue as significant as whether to have a lawn, at all.

Other examples of landscaping issues that couples may disagree over are:

  • What shrubs to plant
  • What type of fence to erect
  • Whether or not to have a pool

Replace a Lost Dogwood?

My husband wants to put in a container vegetable garden in the space where I want to replace a dogwood that we lost. A new dogwood would provide balance with a second, old dogwood that remains. Vegetables won't do well in this area, which is understory. We have a tiny back yard. If I give in to his veggies, how can the yard look balanced? Plan a raised bed with stones to hold the containers?
—Guest Jeanine Smith

Work Styles

My husband and I work differently in the garden. When he pulls weeds, he gets every little, bitty weed within a 5 foot area. He is a perfectionist, and it looks great. The rest of the two acres, however, doesn't. I race around the garden pulling whatever is most likely to bloom, is blooming, or going to seed. My goal: try to stem the sea of seeds and reduce the overall workload--survival. Perhaps it is a behavioral thing, perhaps not. I do know that when we work together, we manage to get a lot done despite our differences. Perhaps the different styles are not so bad after all.
—Guest talk2write2@wildblue.net

Spouse Issues

He wants to be able to find his golf balls in the garden. Would prefer more garden if it means having less yard to mow. LOL.
—Guest Debi

Landscape Designer Feels Unappreciated

I put long, long hours into adding value to our home and quality to our lives...my husband thinks I worry too much about how it looks and about what other people think about how our yard looks (I'm a landscape designer!!!!). He "doesn't see a problem" with piling - literally PILING - anything and everything in the front of our garage and on our front porch. He always lets the grass get way too long, but refuses 1) to let me mow it (it IS a man thing) and 2) to let me 'install' a low-maintenance meadow to replace large portions of the lawn. He'll take his 4-hour leisurely cruise around the yard in all kindsa whirly, fun circles, listening to his music, sipping his drink -- showing NO sign of hurrying in an effort to help me with my grunt work or to be the cook / launderer / chauffeur / party-host. I am convinced he purposely lets the yard go to embarrassing levels...just to drive me crazy. Oh, and it is working.
—Guest lauras

Bermuda Grass Source of Disagreement

My husband INSISTS on scalping our Bermuda lawn twice a year no matter how many sources I show him that say to always mow it high. I can't get that through his head!
—Guest Bermuda

She's Not Allowed Near the Hedge Trimmer

Let's just say my wife is a touch more aggressive with the hedge trimmer than I'd prefer. I'd rather the shrubs keep a mostly natural shape -- I think she'd cut them into Disney characters if she could manage it.
—Guest Charlie

Response to Guest JBurroughs

Good for you, JB. I'm glad I finally met a man who prefers garden over lawn! You are truly the first one.

Wife Wants Big Lawn, I Don't

I take offense at the earlier comment ("Land Grab") that generalized about a "male appreciation for grass," questioning whether it was "cultural or genetic." Firstly, it's ridiculous to suggest that such a thing could be genetic. The attitude in question relates to a respect for orderliness. Some like that clean-cut look. It goes back to the '50s, when it was the ideal look for landscaping around a house: large, well-manicured lawn, a few shrubs, maybe a small, very well organized flower bed. That look said, "This property is owned by neat, hard-working people." Secondly, while a claim that more men than women favor big lawns may, possibly, be valid in some circles, it flies in the face of my own personal experience in life. As a man, I've always been expected to mow lawns. It has been a chore going back to boyhood. Both women I've been with as an adult, including my current wife, have wanted big lawns, while I've wanted as little lawn as possible. Give me a cottage garden any day!
—Guest JBurroughs

Land Grab

I will try to remain calm. We fought over the land. I wanted a yard that was all garden with a few winding paths, and he wanted lawn. What is this male appreciation for grass? Is it cultural or genetic? So my beds got bigger whenever he went on a fishing trip and he didn't say too much because he knew he shouldn't have been gone so much. Eventually he resorted to guerrilla tactics, like trimming (annihilating) the rose because one branch touched him. Or using herbicide under and around the fence and killing most of my vines. I could go on but things are much better now. I now have a garden yard with winding paths.

'Redneck' Yard

I had to laugh when I read the heading on this article since my boyfriend wants his 'Redneck' yard complete with old toilets, sinks, and whatever else he can find to decorate with. Sometimes I gently try to suggest to him that some things are just unacceptable since many of my his 'treasures' come from an auction, the side of the road, well, you get the picture. His favorite motto is, 'Git 'er done.' To me,that says it all! LOL Needless to say,he does keep things interesting around here and we do try to compromise with each other. Thank goodness we live outside the city limits where other neighbors have a very laid-back attitude, plus we live on a dead-end street so the traffic here is limited.
—Guest BethNMtns

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